Family Affair
by Dark Goddess
1. Default Chapter

Warnings and Disclaimers: Digimon Adventures does not belong to me. All copyright infringements were completely intentional. This is a non-profit Fan Fiction; it is written only for entertainment and will only be used for entertainment. Also, this is shounen ai, yaoi, June—whatever you want to call it. Meaning it contains male/male relationships and since it's a lime, some male/male sexual interplay. Not a lot but, some. You have been warned. 

Note: My first Taisuke…be afraid, be very afraid. 

Family Affair 

Chapter 1 

I had just walked into one of the most popular dance clubs in all of Tokyo. I wasn't sure why I was here. I've never been much of a dancer. I guess, I just wanted to try something different. Though, I did wonder why I had come alone. I had never been to a club alone, so why come alone on my first time? I was a little nervous about being in here. Everyone looked so glamorous while I just looked like, well, Yagami Taichi in dark blue velvet pants and pale blue, un-tucked, half-opened, button up shirt. But, I guess, I must have looked good if they let me in there in the first place, na? Actually, I didn't give a flying fuck and a rolling donut what they thought of me. 

I moved as gracefully as I could around the dancers. The heat from the strobe lights making me sweat as I moved around the sensual dancers caressed in dark blues, reds, greens and whites. The music pounded relentlessly in my ears, drowning out anything else. The bodies continued to move together, as if one body—one mind. Swaying, synchronized with the beat of the music. And I couldn't help but get caught up in it all. My own body moving with all the faceless, multicolored dancers. 

My eyes closed, letting my body take command. As I have stated before, I'm not much of a dancer. Actually, dancing is one of the few things I'm extremely self-conscious about. But as I was moving with the rest of the crowd, feeling the hands of strangers' glide across my body. I found myself not caring and, just simply enjoying.

I'm not sure how long I was on that dancer floor. It could have been from five minutes to fifteen to an hour. I wasn't sure, too busy caught up in this new feeling. This feeling that made me feel free. Free from the shackles of responsibility, free from the societal rules that bound me so tightly that they cut deeply into my wrist. My heart was awakening again, soaring high, protected, strangely, by the wings of strangers. 

It was, all in all, a strange yet wonderful feeling. One that I seemed to relish, not wanting to let go of. Like if I had taken a drug and was now addicted. 

Though that, of course, was just the feeling that came with the moment. The need to go on forever doing something that you truly enjoy. Kind of like wanting to hear your favorite song played over and over again. And I knew, like everyone else did, the consequences of hearing your favorite song repetitively. 

You get tired of it.

As did I. Not to the extent that I would never return. On the contrary, I wanted to return. This was my port in the storm. Here was where I would rejuvenate myself. Cleanse myself of the lies that clung to my spirit. I guess, I make very little sense, spewing out all this poetic nonsense, but this is how I feel. I can't change it. 

But, I've gone off track. There is something that I need to talk about. Something that began that night. 

I remember it like it had happened ten minutes ago. It had happened after I weave my way out of the dance floor. A few hands lingering on my body as long as possible, hoping to pull me back in. 

But I was tired and in want of something to drink. All the heat from the closely packed bodies, the lights, and the movement making me feel like I was dehydrating. 

I moved towards the bar, asked for a beer and showed my ID. The bartender nodded and in a few seconds, I was holding a can of beer. I didn't want it poured into a mug or anything. I never minded drinking straight from the can. I ,actually, prefer it, you can't crush a mug after your done. 

My eyes wondered around my surroundings, taking in anything and everything that was around me. It was, to me, a normal nightclub. Nothing extremely special, exactly the way Mimi and Yamato had described it to me. More then one floor, strobe lights, music, withering bodies on the dance floor. Nothing to out of the ordinary.

Just then something had caught my eye. It was a room, tucked away in a far-off corner, near the spiral staircase that led to the second floor. The door was silver and it reminded me of wrinkled tin foil. There were stain glass windows on either side of the door. They were large so, I guessed, they were used so that whomever was in the room could look out at the dance floor, which was adjacent to it. 

Out of extreme curiosity, I stood up and wandered towards the door. I looked at it for a few minutes, searching for anything that would indicate that I shouldn't enter. But there wasn't anything (like that would have stopped me anyway). So I went in. 

The room was smaller then the rest of the place and it was sound proof so the music from the rest of the club could not be heard. This room played its own music, though, not the hectic beats and fast paced rhythms of outside, but slow, calm beats intertwining with sensual rhythms. Strobe lights were replaced by soft lamps, making more shadow then light. And there was furniture: a few sofas, platforms covered with fake animal skins and pillows, and two or three chairs. 

I moved deeper into the room and began to notice the people. All couples or threesomes lounging around caressing, kissing feeding each other erotic foods. All types of lovers, straight, lesbians, gays; most ignoring me and a few giving me a sort of come hither look. Of course, I had no intention of joining them, but it was flattering non-the less. 

It wasn't anything that I found interesting. I had not come here for sex or to watch people having sex, so I turned, ready to leave. When something—someone—caught my eye. I moved deeper, peering in through the dimness of the room. My eyes narrowing to see better, then widening as my suspicions were proved correct. 

A few feet ahead of me, laying on a platform—covered in leopard skins and surrounded by pillows—was Daisuke. He lay there on his back, dressed from head to toe in black leather. Zipped up leather vest, tight leather pants that became hidden under knee-high boots. Thin leather cords criss-crossing and coiling around his visible forearm. Lips smeared in black, nails painted black, and a black collar intertwining with thin silver chains. 

Breathtakingly beautiful and sinfully sexy. I was shocked beyond words, staring at him, noticing how I could see every muscle flex through the leather as he moved or shifted. 

He then smiled, though that smile was not directed at me. And in a second, I saw whom it was directed too. For he was crawling towards Daisuke, stopping only when he hovered above the redhead. Long strands of silver hair brushing across tanned arms, making Daisuke visibly shiver. 

They said something to each other. I didn't catch it, they were a little out of hearing distance and then there was the music, though light it could drown out whispers. Afterwards, Silver Hair leaned forwards and pressed his lips to Daisuke's, who returned the kiss passionately. I was a little lost but more stunned then anything else. Who was this guy? I never knew Daisuke had a boyfriend. Hell, I never knew Daisuke liked guys! But then again, after graduating high school we lost touch. Well, I lost touch with all the younger chosen. It's all my fault really, but that's a different story all together. 

As I watched that man kissing and caressing the red head. Watched as his lips grazed across tanned cheeks, a pink tongue trailed down a strong jaw line down to the collarbone and back up, showering his neck with kisses, I couldn't help the rush of jealousy and this uncontrollable yearning that gnawed at my stomach. 

Jealously? Why was I jealous? I understood the yearning. The need for it to be my hands and lips gliding across that soft flesh. For it to be me instead of him worshipping that leather encased body. I wanted to be the one that caused Daisuke to mewl, moan and groan. Wanted my lips to touch those full ones. That was the yearning, and it was understandable. Daisuke looked good! Beyond that. So the horny-ness was understandable. But the jealousy? Was I jealous because it was Silver Hair touching Daisuke instead and not me?

No, it meant more then that. Though that was a huge chunk of the reason. I wanted him _bad_. And the need grew with every sound he made. 

The two continued, neither noticing me. Silver Hair touching, caressing, kissing while Daisuke's hands roamed his back, sometimes leading their mouths back together. And I just watched like a fourteen-year-old boy with a hot teacher changing right across the lawn. I'm surprised I wasn't jerking off. 

Again, I lost track of the time. Just watching them, until Daisuke's brown eyes opened and locked with mine. I stiffened, scared out of my mind. What would he say? The hell with that, what would he do? I'm pretty sure it wasn't going to be pretty. Daisuke has a temper to rival any viral Digimon. And I knew he wasn't going to be happy with the idea of being watched. 

And for the hundredth time that night, I was surprised. He just looked at me, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he turned and pressed his lips against Silver Hair's, closing his eyes again and completely ignoring me. The first thing that popped in my head was: "I didn't know Daisuke was an exhibitionist." I quickly squashed that thought.

His eyes reopened just before the kiss ended, and wandered back to me. Silver Hair didn't seem to notice (not that I blame him) to busy trailing the expanses of Daisuke's neck and chest. While Daisuke continued to look at me, capturing me with his eyes. Large, brown eyes that spoke volumes. Volumes of what? I didn't know, they were encoded.

Those large eyes continued to hold me as Daisuke's hands continued their exploration of Silver Hair's back. Wandering over his back, down his forearms, under the white silk shirt. 

During it all, those eyes held me in place. And all I could wonder was why? What did he want? Those eyes weren't inviting. They were just, well, empty—excepting, maybe.

I finally was able to turn away; they were becoming even more intimate. It wasn't my place to watch. I didn't want to watch. It was making me sick and angry. 

I couldn't take it anymore. My head hurt, my loins were on fire, I was confused, tired, horny and so, I felt. 

TBC…

This has been sitting in my hard drive for a couple of months—more then that actually—and I thought I'd post it. I'm not exactly sure how fast I'll be coming out with chapters. I still have to finish Secrets and Haunted. But I already have the story written out in my head so all I gotta do is find time to write it. And not to mention I gotta like what I write. Got a tendency of hating everything I put down. Though the second chapter will be up by tomorrow! I'd post it now but I gotta go over it and I ain't got no time—two in the morning don'tcha know! Need sleep! 


	2. Default Chapter

Chapter 2

Note: This chapter isn't trying to be songfic-ish. The lyrics are part of the narrative. Something the narrator wanted to add into the description. Just thought I keep people from being confused. At least not as confused as the narrator is…

I placed the phone back on the receiver and sighed. My eyes shifting to my parents who had been watching me carefully throughout my whole conversation. My mother immediately began to avoid meeting my eyes while my father gave me a stern look. His brown eyes apologetic but unyielding. "I'm sorry, son, but it's your duty." That's what that look told me. I sighed again and turned towards my room. Passing my sister's room, not even looking at it, though I was extremely aware of it. I always was aware of it.

My room…my sanctuary—not really. It was a mess, always had been, and always would be. That would never change—just like my sister's room. It stayed the same, untouched by the world. My room was different, it was continuously touched, saw new things, and took in new things. But it remained the same. Always constant—unmoving, like a rock. But rocks change, over time, a gradual process created by nature. My room didn't change. My sister's room didn't change. I didn't change.

After grabbing my new clothes, I walked towards the bathroom. I passed my sister's room again. This time looking at it through the corner of my eye. I was moving so fast that I didn't get to see anything really. Just a blur…a light brown blur. I light brown blur I knew like the back of my hand. 

The bathroom, dark one moment, then bright the next. Showing everything—there was so much light. Nothing was hidden. It was disturbing.

Dropping my new clothes, I stripped and turned to find myself staring into the full-length mirror that was nailed to the bathroom door. And I stared, caught by my own reflection. I was staring at myself. I knew what I looked like but I couldn't help it. Couldn't help but look at my reflection, at myself, like if I had never seen myself before. Like this was the first time I had ever laid eyes on myself. 

I wasn't sure who I was anymore. Years ago I had known. But not anymore. At that moment, I stared into deep brown eyes and those same eyes stared back—empty. I didn't know myself. Maybe I'd never know again. I was once someone. Never again.

It was always the same question over and over again. The same answer over and over again. I don't know. I lost myself, my reflection knew. My reflection knew who I was. Who I had been so many years ago. Strong, cheerful, full of life. I was once someone. I knew who I was back then. I was a boy. An ordinary boy in love with life.

Now….

After taking a quick shower, I dressed and did the usual touch ups. Then walked out of the bathroom. Back to my room, passing my sister's room. I stopped and looked at it. When was the last time that I had entered? A year ago, on a Monday in July. July the thirtieth. I remember. I will never forget the last time I walked into my sister's room. The last time I ever saw her. 

I turned and walked back into my room, running my fingers through my hair. I've never found a need to comb my hair, it never changed, always stayed the same. 

My eyes settled on a pair of goggles hanging from the doorknob. Taichi's goggles. I smiled, walking over and taking hold of them. I didn't remember when I stopped wearing them. But I remembered why I wouldn't put them on again. My fingers ran over the lens as I thought about all the adventures that these goggles had gone through, so many things they've seen through two different sets of brown eyes. 

The room was silent and I became aware of it. The sound of my breathing, the ticking of the clock, but I wanted to ignore it. I stared hard at the goggles forcing my mind to travel back to the past. To friends I hadn't seen in so long and to friends I still saw on a regular bases. 

So many friends and only one knew. 

The sound of the clock ticking took over, disturbing my concentration. I still tried to ignore it. 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I couldn't. Sighing, I stood and placed the goggles back on the doorknob. Then walked over to the desk, grabbing a few things…like my keys. Why did I even take my keys, it's not like I was going to come home that night. Force of habit that's what I told myself as I walked into the living room, on my way to the door. My mother didn't look at me; she rarely did these days. Though my father's eyes were on me. I could feel them and I knew they were in pain. 

"Ja na, 'touchan, 'kaachan." I smiled at them. They said their good byes as well, in more somber voices. I didn't like the sound in their voices. So I turned back and hugged them both, giving my mom a kiss on the cheek. She held on so tightly for a moment, then release, though she still couldn't look into my eyes. "I'll be back later. " A small nodded of acknowledgment and then I left. 

Cool winds passed by me as I walked down the street, blowing gently through my hair. I smiled, the simple pleasures in life were always the best. I always loved the feeling of the wind blowing passed me. That's why I always loved to run. That's one of the reasons I had joined soccer in the first place. I've always been into speed, into wind. If that makes any sense. 

Stopping at the corner, I raised my hand and hailed a cab. Three or four passing by before one finally stopped. Green and white. Always the same. 

"Where too?" Same question, but it's understandable I suppose, can't get no where without the address. 

"Crystal Club." I told him. He knew, everyone knew. It was the most popular club in Tokyo, at the time. That's where I was headed, where everyone wanted to go. The place to be. I had been there so many times I considered it out of style. Of course, my opinion never mattered. 

One could hear the music coming from the club about two blocks before arrival. That's why it was situated on the other side of town. Where it wouldn't disturb anyone. 

Paying the cab driver, I climbed out and made my way towards the front of the line. There was always a line; this place was so stereotypical that it was sickening. I never waited in line though, never had to. So, I walked to the front, greeted the bouncer and went it. He knew better then to stop me. 

Inside it was loud; it was always loud inside the club. People moving and dancing, chatting loudly because of the music. All different kinds of people, most intoxicated. There was always this smell of lust in the air. Like sex was just something that went with the place, that and the loud pounding music.

I walked towards the dance floor, it was an instinctive movement—no, habitual but it felt almost like instinct. It was always the first place I went when I went there. 

It was so easy to get lost there. So many people, so easy to become a speck, but then again aren't we all specks in this big universe. 

The music pounded relentlessly in my ears, I closed my eyes and let my body move for me. A small smile creased my lips as I lost myself to the music. Swaying with the mass, I was speck in the universe. Nothing of importance, but content being so. I continued moving to the Techno playing. What was the song called again?

Ah, yes, _It's a Fine Day_. 

Was it really? I didn't remember fine days anymore. They were all the same to me. Neither good nor bad. I could complain, yet I couldn't. All the same. 

The movement of my body sped up. I'm not sure why. It just did, I was sweating. It was understandable. One sweats at a club, especially when active. My lips slightly parted because I had stopped breathing through my nose a while back and my eyes were still closed. It was like I had entered a zone. It was just me and the music, it was perfect. 

And, of course, it stopped. Not the music, it still played loudly, pounding in my ears. But I stopped for a half a second, surprised as arms wrapped themselves around my waist and a chin rested itself on my shoulder. I could feel the body pressed against my back, gently forcing me to move again, with the music, at a slower pace now. 

__

It's going to be a fine night tonight 

"Going too fast for this song." The body pressed closer, rocking at a slower pace. I closed my eyes and continued moving. Letting him dictate the movements of my body, just like he did my life. 

"Really? I didn't notice."

"Lost in your own word?" Amusement, he was always amused about something or other. I never met someone that could be amused twenty four seven. It was slightly irritating. Kinda like the music playing, repetitive. Both of them.

"Yeah."

"Thinking of me?" 

__

It's going to be a fine day tomorrow 

Maybe it would be. I wasn't sure. I've never cared much for what happens tomorrow. Only what happens today. Today is what's important. But if it were anything like that day, it would be nothing. Nothing at all. It would be the same. 

Always the same and yet, different. It was hard to explain. It was him. Always him. He made it different, he made it repetitive. He could make it bland and he could make it so exciting. He was and he wasn't. He was a yin and a yang all in one. That made no sense, no—yes it did. 

__

It's going to be a fine night tonight 

"I've missed you." The words were whispered in my ear, followed by a soft kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes again, letting him control my movements. "Did you missed me?"

His hands moved over my stomach, gentle caresses over tight leather. It felt good, it always felt good. I wished it wouldn't, it would be so much easier if it hadn't felt so wonderful. So much easier to hate him if his touches didn't feel so wonderful. If his eyes didn't shimmer so much, if he wasn't so kind.

Why was he so kind? Why did the night have to be so fine? Why couldn't it be horrible? Why couldn't he be horrible? Then I could hate him. Then, maybe, I would have been able to follow sister's lead. 

"Yes, I missed you." I whispered back, I'm not even sure how he could hear it when there was so much noise around us. But he heard, I could feel the smile against my flesh.

Then he turned me around to face shimmering green eyes. Smiling eyes, eyes I could not forget even if I tired. Eyes I could not bring myself to hate, no matter how hard I tired. Eyes that haunted my past, my present, and even my future. 

We continued to dance, our bodies swaying to the music. We talked as we dance, his green eyes shimmering as he spoke of his day. About the things he had rather been doing. Of the things we would do together. His eyes shimmered when I spoke as they always did. He was always interested, always wanted to know. Keeping tabs…

Our dancing continued for a while, I don't remember how long. Then we drank something. His hands wandering over my body as he spoke of the most mundane things. Suave smile always intact, he could be so infuriating. And yet, I could never be angry with him. Never…but how hard I tired. How much I wanted to. And when I was alone, away from him, I would succeed. But then I would see him and it would disappear and it would not. 

It hurt my head to think about it. 

After sometime light petting became heavy petting and we moved. We moved to that little room people liked to screw in. I never asked what it was called. It wasn't important and it wasn't like I was going to tell anyone about it. Besides, that was what it was there for. To screw. 

We moved inside, the door shutting behind us, eyes raised to look at us, each with their own encoded look. I ignored them, concentrating on the form pressed against me. On the lips brushing the sensitive areas of my neck. On the hands pushing me down onto the platform. 

He moved for a moment, hands raising to untie his long silver mane. His hair, his pride and joy, nothing was more important then his hair. The second thing was his money and then his pet. His pet…

He looked at me again, green eyes shimmering. His lips moving silently. I'm not sure what he said, but I smiled anyway, force of habit. And it was better then not acknowledging it. That would just bring problems that I didn't want to deal with. 

He crawled over to me only stopping when he was completely above me. His hair grazing over me, caressing my flesh lightly. It felt good and he knew it. He leaned forward a little, still smiling that infuriating smile of his, his eyes peering into mine. 

"Enjoying yourself, pet?" I had to literally fight back the urge to roll my eyes. He was becoming dominating again. Something that always happened when sex was just around the corner. 

Okay, so he was dominating all the time, but he didn't call me pet until moments like this. Where he knew that he would be claiming me again, showing me whose boss in a sense. Again it was infuriating, and whenever I thought about it, I just wanted to punch him in the face and leave me. But I couldn't. That wasn't an option. He knew it too and he loved it. 

We kissed, my mouth opening to him. There was no point in fighting. Useless waste of energy. There was only one way to stop it and I couldn't. I couldn't follow my sister's lead. I couldn't hurt my parent's like that. So I closed my eyes, trying to get my body to go on automatic. I still hadn't fully mastered that technique, but I was getting there. I had to do it just right, if not he'd notice. He couldn't notice. 

Time past, we were still fooling around, he liked to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible. Always tiring to drive me crazy with lust and passion, there were only a few times where he accomplished it. All other times followed the old female rule of faking it. 

Oh sure don't get me wrong, I was turned on. You can't fake a hard on (unless you think very sexy thoughts about someone else) and it wasn't like he awful at it. It was just that he wasn't whom I wanted to be doing it with. And so many other reasons that just kinda killed the moment. But I've always been good at faking and suppressing so it wasn't that big of an issue. He never noticed. 

He was still in that odd area between foreplay and getting on with it, when I felt as if I was being watched. Cocking my head just a tiny bit, opening and shifting my eyes, I saw something—or should I say someone—I wasn't expecting. Yagami Taichi. 

First thing I thought was: "shit, busted". Second thing was: "who gives a fuck". Then I went back to kissing Kyo. I was pretty sure, he hadn't noticed Taichi. Actually, I knew full well he hadn't noticed Taichi, he could be such a fool sometimes. 

I opened my eyes and looked at Taichi again, wondering what the hell he was doing here and why the hell was he watching? I might be a pet, but I sure as hell am not a porn star. But fine if he wanted porn, he'd get porn. I was already one thing, why not the other. I had become a lot more excepting over the years, less fiery I guess.

For some reason, as I continued my exportation of my would-be lover's body, I couldn't tear my eyes away from Taichi's. They were so beautiful, they always had been. Once long ago, my eyes were the same as his. Now the only resembles was in color. We weren't the same anymore (actually, we never really had been the same, just having similar attributes), now we were completely different. Completely and utterly different. 

And, for some unexplained reason, I almost hated him for not being like me. I'm a fool. I hated myself for almost wishing that upon him. He didn't deserves what I went through, no one did. But I still couldn't help but be angry. He didn't have to put up with what I did. He had an undefined future. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted and their was nothing weighing down on his conscious, crushing him like one of the those cartoon characters that have an anvil fall on their heads. He was lucky and I wasn't. I learned to live with it. 

He continued to watch us until Kyo started to unzip my pants. That was when he turned and ran like if that simple action had triggered the fight or flight mechanism. 

What Taichi? Gotta a nosebleed? 

There was no point analyzing it. If I didn't start concentrating on Kyo he would have gotten annoyed. Anyway, I would deal with Taichi later, which I knew I was going to have too, since Taichi was one of the nosiest people I have ever met and I know he wouldn't rest until he found out everything. Annoying me because it would shatter a few masks and bring a few secrets to the surface. 

People were going to find out things that they weren't suppose to know. And I knew I was going to end up getting hurt. It was one of those inevitable things. Something you just saw coming. But at that moment, I couldn't ponder that, I had to concentrate on Kyo, whom was doing some very interesting things south of the boarder. Oi! That was cheesy!

TBC

Oh, for all whom weren't aware of it, _It's a fine day_ belongs to Miss Jane not me. And anything written in this part that seems to contradict other things said is purely intentional. Daisuke's confused therefore he likes to contradict himself. ^_^ 

I should be out with the next chapter soon, but then I've been saying that for a while now to other people. Chapter 3 is a big ol' debate in my head, especially so after rereading this chapter. All drawn out and stupid. So we'll see, na? 


	3. Default Chapter

Chapter 3 

My mind has been in disarray for more then a week, a thousand different thoughts passing at the same time leaving me in a state where normal thought is next to impossible. To put it as simply as possible, my mind is divided in two. One half wants to think of nothing but the classes I'm taking and to concentrate on a finding a way not to fail psychology while the other half believes that I should only pay attention to one thing—Daisuke and only Daisuke. And I believe that the latter is defeating the former for I can not think of anything besides Daisuke. 

What I saw that night invades my daydreams as well as the nighttime ones. I can't go throughout one day without thinking about what I had seen. Images of Daisuke in tight black leather haunt me like a ghost in an old abandon house and questions of who that man was plague me worse then those mice in the Athens. 

I hated him. I didn't know who he was and I really didn't care, all I knew was that I hated him. Silver Hair, I hated him with an all-consuming passion of jealousy and envy. He had what I wanted and never knew I wanted until that night. He had Daisuke, he's _had_ Daisuke and all I had were dreams. I knew I'm being unreasonable, I had my chance and passed it up. I've known Daisuke longer and never did anything; I had no reason to hate him. But hate is rarely justified and this hate is somewhat petty anyway. I don't care either. 

The night that I had came home from the nightclub was one of the worst nights ever. Sleep eluded me, even after I had relieved myself. All I could think about was Daisuke and what he did to me without even touching me, and what I could have done to him if I could have touched him. That's where the envy and jealousy began; I wanted Daisuke and I could not have him because someone else had him. 

If you think unrequited love is a bitch, try unrequited lust. 

There was nothing I can do about it. So I tried to think of something else, like if Daisuke was angry with me for watching him and Silver Hair. I'd been wondering that for as long as I'd been thinking about what Daisuke and that man were doing. When I had watched them Daisuke seemed not to care, seemed to almost except the fact that he was being watched with an air of indifference that I can't even describe, or maybe I don't want to describe it. That indifference upset me, Daisuke was never indifferent about anything. He always reacted; it was part of whom he was. It was a trait we both share, but there he was letting me watch him have sex. It was so confusing. So would he be angry with me? I didn't think I knew him enough anymore to answer that. 

***

On Sunday I saw him, he was walking down the streets towards his home and I was walking towards mine. We did live relatively near each other. I had just been too chicken to go over to his. So I wasn't very surprised when I saw him, I was surprised to see how he was dressed though. A tight midnight blue crop top and tight black jeans riding low on his hips, every move his muscles made could be seen through his clothes—do you know how perfect his body is! The hems of his pants were brushing lightly over his black boots. He was wearing long gloves that cut off at his fingers and at ended at mid-forearm and a spiked bracelet hung loosely from his right wrist. The sunlight caught the silver metal that intertwined with his black collar (which was fastened over crop top's turtleneck) and made it shimmer. 

I had run towards him, waving, deciding it was time to confront him and at least this way I was in public and relatively safe from murder. Daisuke's not dumb enough to kill in public, too many witnesses or so he once told me after we had seen that action movie. He looked at me, dark red lashes framing beautiful brown eyes, and his head titled a bit as he regarded me quietly. Regarding me quietly? How much had he changed during my absence! 

"Taichi, it's been a while." I noticed it immediately; the wrong-ness of the sentence and my mind quickly fixed it. The way it should sound, the way it would have sounded before. 

_"Taichi-sempai! Hey, been a while!" _But that wasn't the way it was, the energy was gone, the honorific was gone. Everything was missing, everything had changed. It was almost like I was meeting a new person, a new person who looked exactly like Motomiya Daisuke. 

"Yes it has…" I blushed slightly, remembering that night. It was a good sign that he had not brought it up, I supposed. He wasn't angry but he didn't care either. I couldn't leave it like that. I had to say something, had to fix it. Fix what? I didn't know. "I'm sorry. About the other night I'm mean." 

"S'okay." He shrugged and shoved his hand in his pocket, fishing out a cigarette pack and pulling one stick out. I noticed his still black fingernails (the nail polish made his fingers look very delicate) and shimmer silver rings as his fingers carried the cigarette up to his awaiting lips—what beautiful full lips. When he lit the cigarette he inhaled deeply, seeming to savor it and then exhaled a thin line of smoke, his dark eyes never leaving my face. I stared back, stunned.

"When you start smoking?" He shrugged casually taking another drag, this one not as long as the last. 

There was a long silence where I had to control myself from fidgeting. I had no idea what to say but I didn't want him to leave. And the way his brown eyes were settled on me was unnerving. I'm not sure how to put it, how to describe the way he was looking at me. The only thing I can really say is that the warmth that use to be in those eyes was not there anymore. They were just empty and I missed the warmth that he used to look at me with. 

He started walking and I followed him. I think he was expecting me to and that was why he said nothing. We walked the last two blocks to his apartment complex then into the elevator, up to his floor and right to his apartment. It had not changed much over the years, expect I swear that a sort of misery clung to the walls that wasn't there on my last visit.

"So, who was he?" I finally asked the question that's been nagging me from the back of my mind. He looked at me, a strange knowing smile appearing on his pretty face.

"Aoyama Kyo." He said. For some reason I had been checking his face, looking for any sign that he was in love with that man, as he said his name. But there wasn't and that surprised me. So was Silver Hair—this Aoyama Kyo—some one important in his life or was just a one-night stand? 

"Your boyfriend?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders again, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

"Yeah I guess." He closed his eyes for a moment and that was when I finally saw an emotion pass across his face—sadness, one that caused him so much pain. It was gone as quickly as it came and his eyes opened to look upon me again. 

"You guess?" Yeah, I had to pry. You think I wouldn't after this hell week I've been having?

"We have a strange relationship." He smiled but it was void of any mirth, it was more of a cold sarcastic smile or was it more of an ironic one? Maybe a little bit of both. "But I am exclusively seeing him." 

I watched him move towards the ashtray sitting on the coffee table, finally putting out his cigarette and taking a seat in one of the chairs and that was when I finally sat down as well. He looked at me in that same way he had been looking at me for most of the meeting. 

"So he doesn't see you exclusively?" I asked. He looked at me and shook his head, smiling just a tiny bit. At least it wasn't like the last one. 

"Saa…" He said. "I don't keep tabs on him." 

***

"I wouldn't know, I haven't talk to Daisuke since he dropped out of high school." My head shot up and I stared at Takeru in shock. 

"He dropped out?" I asked and both blondes nodded at me. 

"You didn't know?" Yamato asked as he flipped through his psychology book. We were having a study session or as I liked to call it "operation keep Taichi form failing". Yamato had always been better in psychology so he offered to help while Takeru was using Yamato's kitchen to bake Takaishi-san a surprised cake, for no reason besides the fact that he wanted too. 

"Well obviously I didn't if I'm surprised!" I retorted, Yamato gave one of those looks of pity he likes giving me so much. 

"He dropped out about a year and a half ago, during the spring semester I believe." Takeru continued glancing at the clock on the wall. "None of us know why, we tried to get him to go back but he wouldn't listen. We even tried getting Ken to help, since you know how much Daisuke values his opinion, but Ken wouldn't. He said Daisuke has his reasons and he had no right to tell him what to do." 

"So no one knows why he did it?" Takeru shook his head. 

"Well, none of us know. But I think Ken does and is acting stupid." 

I nodded somewhat numbly. Daisuke had dropped out of high school and I hadn't known. It surprised me. I mean, yeah sure, people dropped out of high school all the time. Hell! Some never go, it's not mandatory. But Daisuke had wanted to go, I remember him telling me once when he was in junior high, wearing that green uniform just as sloppily as I had. 

_"I'm going to get my diploma for both high school and college." _

"Oh and what about the J-league?" 

"I'll do that too! But I won't be playing soccer forever and that's not my only goal in life. I'm gonna see the world! And for that I need money and that means I need a degree!" 

I remembered the way his eyes would glow when he'd talk about his dreams, no not just his eyes his whole face would light up. He would laugh and talk about all the things he'd do with us. He was going to take Ken around the world with him because he knew the bluenette would enjoy the traveling through the different cultures. He would go the J-league with me and together we would lead our team to great victories until we became world champions, but not just any world champions, legendary ones. He'd take his sister to New York where she'd become a great dancer and make his family proud. There were so many dreams, so many things he wanted to do. His whole body would pulsate with the desire to achieve those dreams. 

And then I thought back to the day before when I had seen Daisuke on the street. How dull his eyes had been. Just by looking at him I could tell all those dreams had been extinguished. It hurt; it made me mad, what could have extinguished his dreams. 

"Forget about it, Yagami." I blinked and looked at Yamato who was looking at me like he could read my mind. Ten to one he probably could, he always could. "Daisuke isn't going to listen, don't pester him. It's obvious he doesn't even want to see us anymore, he did break away from us. He's not going to want you prying and bothering him." 

I stared at Yamato, he was probably right. He probably would understand Daisuke the most. They had some things in common, just like Daisuke and I had things in common. But this new Daisuke was so different that Yamato could have been wrong. There had to be a reason that kept Daisuke from doing what he really wanted. Something must have made him change so drastically and I wanted to know what it was! And I especially wanted to help him.

"Yeah but you forget Yamato," I smiled at the blond. "I'm his sempai. He holds respect and admiration for me and that means he'll listen to me." 

Yamato rolled his eyes and Takeru shook his head—amused. I glared at them, making it clear through that glare that nothing was going to change my mind. They seemed to except that because Yamato began to flip through his notes starting up the study session again. 

***

****

I went to see Daisuke again. I remember it feeling like I was about to go take a leap into the ocean. I took a deep breath and knocked, moments later Daisuke had opened the door. Leaning against the frame staring up at me, he didn't even look surprised. Well he may have been at first, see he had been wearing dark sunglasses over his eyes when he had opened the door, but then he had taken them off after a second or two so I didn't exactly get see the reaction in his eyes, if there was any. 

Again Daisuke was dressed in clothes I would have sworn my life upon his never wearing, though this outfit was more 'conservative', the term is used loosely. A violet silk shirt, un-tucked and halfway unbutton showing off his well tone chest, over those raver pants. You know, the tight ones with a belt fastened to each leg and a third belt fastened to both. He wasn't wearing boots this time, obviously since he was inside, but he was still wearing the collar. It seemed he'd never take it off. 

Looking at him made me realize that I'd never have a wet dream that didn't involve him again. He was beyond sexy. I wanted to touch him so badly. Forbidden Fruit is always more tempting but Daisuke had risen it to even more unfair levels with this flaunting of his incredible sexiness. 

"Taichi, what a pleasant surprise." He said stepping out of the way. For some reason I was wondering if the surprise really was pleasant or if he was just lying to me. Did he really want me there? It was too late to turn back anyway so I pushed the thought all the way into the back of my head where it would probably have tormented me later. 

"I'm not disturbing you am I?" I asked stepping inside and toeing off my shoes then remembering my manners; I called out, "Ojamashimasu!" 

"No one's home, don't worry about it." Daisuke said walking passed me. I followed him deeper inside and looked around. Did you know Daisuke has a really nice ass? "Parents are working." 

"And Jun?" I asked taking a seat on the recliner. Daisuke looked at me for a moment, something flashing across his eyes. It had been too quick for me to catch, but I did know it was nothing positive. 

"She doesn't live here any longer." He said, "Hasn't lived here for a year and a half." I blinked, that had been around the same time that Daisuke had dropped out of high school. I decided to voice this. 

"About the same time you dropped out." He nodded his head quietly but I could tell he wasn't too happy with me for bring that up. "Why did you drop it?" 

He shrugged. "Interfered with my new lifestyle." 

I snorted. "Some lifestyle." He glared at me. So maybe I shouldn't have said that. 

"You have no right to judge what you know nothing about." Daisuke shot back still glaring. And I winced at the coldness in his eyes. He was right; I had no right to say anything. I felt, went to college and forgot about the younger Chosen save for Takeru and Hikari for obvious reasons. 

"Suma na." My apology came out as a small whisper. There were two reason for this, embarrassment and because it was always really hard for me to apologize. But Daisuke's smile made it all better; waving it off casually and telling me it was okay. At least he hadn't changed so much that he lost that warm forgiving side of his personality. 

"You want anything to drink." He asked and I shook my head as I tired to decide what to say next. There was a part of me that told me to forget formalities, pleasantries and niceties, to just tell Daisuke what I wanted to tell him. But the other part of myself, which had noticed that Daisuke was no longer the same person he had been before, told me to watch myself, not to say anything that would offend the redhead. To be honest I was very confused. Which was the best course of action? I was intimately familiar with the former but the latter sounded like the correct way to go…I didn't know and it frustrated me. 

Would it hurt to just directly ask? I wondered that greatly. I wanted to know, why couldn't I just him ask and see what happened? It was the way I've done things all my life. Why change now? 

"Daisuke—why?" He looked at me blinking in confusion. 

"Why what?" I sighed, controlling my frustration. 

"Why this big change?" I looked straight into his eyes. "Make me understand what could make you wanna give up on all those dreams?" 

"It's really nothing of importance." He replied after a long time. He seemed to have been fighting with something within himself. It was so painful, so frustrating, to see that inner turmoil and know I couldn't do anything to fix it because he would not let me. 

"Sure it is. Tell me." I looked at him and he looked back, I could see his eyes hardening. 

"Why do you care?" 

"Because I'm your friend. Your sempai remember?" I smiled at him, trying to convey all those warm feelings of caring and so on. "It's my job to worry and care about you."

He looked at me for a moment (a spilt second really) and then smiled, it was a twisted sort of smile. A little unnerving. 

"Sempai?" he chuckled and it coincided well with that smile. "I'm not very sure about that…"

"Daisuke, what the hell are you talking about?" I snapped but that really was because I was so unnerved by him. His eyes narrowed for a second then he smiled at me, this smile was different—more mischievous. 

For a moment he just stood there, he seemed to be considering something or so I thought. Then he raised his hands and unfastened the black and silver collar from around his neck, placing it on the coffee table and just stared at it. I blinked more then a little confused but had no real time to think of anything because a second later he was on top of me. His legs, bent at the knees, were straddling mine, his arms around my neck as he leaned forward, his warm breath against my ear. 

"I've noticed the way you look at me," He breathed and I could do nothing more then gasp at the feel of him against me. Then he said, just before closing his mouth over my earlobe, with a touch of sarcasm: "Taichi-_sempai_".

"D-Daisuke!" I stammered beyond shocked. This was unreal! Daisuke couldn't be doing what he was doing. I was having hallucinations, daydreams, night dreams, something! "You can't be doing this…"

He hummed a question at me, though I didn't really think he wanted an answer. His hands moved from around my neck to move slowly down my body and that was when I finally came out of my state of shock. Gently shoving him away, I took hold of his hands, stopping them form their wanderings. He looked at me, amused though a bit disappointed. He covered up the latter pretty quickly. 

"Daisuke, you can not do this!" I said trying my damnedest to be stern and knew I was failing miserably. That had felt too good to be ignored so easily. 

"There's no point in deny this Taichi." He said twisting his wrists in my hands until he was free. "I can see it on your face—transparent as glass—you want me. You've wanted me since you saw me at the club. And every time you've seen me since all you've wanted to do is touch me." He took hold of my hands and maneuvered them under his shirt—Kami-sama his skin is soft. "I'm giving it to you, sempai, your lustful desire is coming true." 

His lips brushed against mine as he continued to guide my hands across the plains of his chest and stomach, strong and well toned from years of soccer and still as soft as the skin of a newborn babe. I closed my eyes, feeling him against me, needing his touches and kisses, and I almost fell that time but then I remembered him. He came out of recesses of my mind like all unwanted memories: at the wrong moment. 

My eyes opened and I pulled away from Daisuke's questing tongue. I didn't speak immediately needing to catch my breath. "What about…Aoyama?" I asked once my breathing became normal again. He raised an eyebrow at me. 

"What about him? He's not here. He's not important, only you and me and what I'm going to do to you." 

He leaned forward again and I turned my head so that he ended up kissing my cheek. I don't think it upset him to greatly since I felt him smile into my cheek then began leaving butterfly kisses down to my jaw and further down my neck. You have no idea how hard it was to control myself!

"Dai—" 

"Stop trying to find excuses for something you know you want as badly as I do. The true reason you came to see me, the real reason you remembered me after so long." He continued moving downward leaving kisses, sometimes nibbling, other times suckling. It was unbelievable how he knew just what to do to drive into that pleasure-filled thoughtless state with just the right touches at the right places. So talented was he that I lost all the will to fight and succumbed to a desire that had been burning inside me since that night at the club but later I would pay for my weakness, for succumbing to the need, for only achieving in further pushing him away.

Every sin has its price…

TBC

So I finally got it out, the third chapter, after a thousand revisions! And I'm still not entirely happy with it! About the outfits, I wondered if they would be a waste of space. I mean describing them. So I wanted to explain why I did. It was for a few reasons. First I had made a promise that I would attempt to put all the different outfits that I had originally thought up in the first chapter in the rest of the story. And the other reasons can be seen in the story. Basically to torment Taichi! Also I like dressing up Daisuke! ^_~ 


	4. Default Chapter

Chapter 4

I sat in his living room quietly, looking around at all the familiar things. I knew this living room like I knew my own. I knew most of this house like I knew my own. I let out a long sigh, my mind wandering back to the day before. The guilt I was feeling for what I had done had been tormenting me all night and all day. I knew I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't right in so many ways, but it had accomplished what I wanted. 

Taichi was once more out of my life. 

He had practically run out of my apartment when it was all over, he was so distraught. And I didn't offer him any words of comfort. I just watched him passively as he gathered his things and left. I know he felt guilty, probably thought he had taken advantage of me in some shape or form. He's like that, taking responsibility for things he shouldn't. But I said nothing to him, just listened to the sound of the front door slamming shut as he left my apartment and me, hopefully forever. 

I didn't think I could deal with seeing Taichi again. Taichi represented apart of my life—a part of me—that was dead. I didn't want to deal with that, which is why I had separated myself form the Chosen. Well all except for Ken, but that hadn't been of my choosing. Though I suppose it was my fault for bring him in to the problem. When 'neechan had disappeared, I ran to him for comfort. I felt so betrayed by her, so lost, and so very scared of what her disappearance meant for me that I ran to him and told him things that I should have never told him. So when the time to break away from the Chosen came, I couldn't with Ken. He wouldn't let me break away from him; he told me that he wanted to be my safe haven when the world got to hard for me.

He never judged me. Never told me that I was going about things the wrong way, even though I knew that was what he thought. He never said anything and he didn't try to change my mind when the others were trying to. Whenever he would question it was just to make sure I knew what I was doing, to make sure that any decision made was not done out of haste but whenever something was final it was final and he understood that. He really was the only one I could run to. Ken was my safe haven. But I still couldn't see him all the time, like the others he represented a past I wanted to leave behind. I saw Ken maybe once or twice a month or when I really needed his company and he understood why I did it and never said anything. Even that one time when I didn't see him for two whole months, he said nothing when I showed up at his doorstep, distraught and in need of his company. 

I've always been such a selfish person. I've wronged so many people with my actions and insensitivity. The actions are suppose to justify the means but I don't think what I did to Taichi nor Ken is justifiable in anyway. 

"Have I kept you waiting long?" I jumped slightly at the voice. I had been so lost in thought I had not noticed anyone. I look over to the beautiful man standing by the doorway. Long silver hair framing an oval face, green eyes shimmering apologetically, a tall and well-built man with a beautiful smile and a gentle but firm control over me.   
I shake my head at his question not bothering to remind him that he probably was informed the minute that I arrived so he should know whether I've been waiting long or not. 

"You were lost in your own world again." He said that amused smile still in place. He walked towards me and sat down, leaning forward and placing a kiss on my lips. 

"I had nothing else to do while I waited." He nodded and motioned me to move closer, which I did, crawling into his lap and letting him stroke my face. 

"The papers are ready." His words surprised me. I hadn't been expecting that statement. I look up into his eyes searching for lies, for anything that could tell me he was lying. 

"I have kept my side of the bargain, Daisuke." Kyo's tone held no room for denial. He didn't like it when people didn't believe him. He would do anything in his power to prove that he wasn't. That never meant that he was actually telling the truth. But this knowledge did not keep me from nodding my acquiescent. 

He smiled, one long finger tracing my face, sliding across my eyebrows, it was a triumphant smile and his touches showed how he was feeling at the moment. 

"I want to see the papers." He frowned, but nodded. I knew what he was thinking, but he knew better then to say something like that. I knew that he didn't have to do this, that it matter very little to him whether he did it or not. I knew that even if this hadn't been done it would all turn out the same way or even worse. He knew I knew. There was no reason to say it. It was just stating the obvious. It was something that hung in the air whenever we met. 

And maybe that is why he was doing this…

"You'll need to sign them anyway." He said quietly. 

"When?" 

"Right now if you'd like." 

I shrugged and he stood. It only took a few moments for him to return. He placed the manila folder on the coffee table in front of me and sat down. I could feel his eyes on me as I opened the folder and looked at the white sheets of paper there. I lifted one, looked at it and read it over. Normally this would be done in front of a lawyer but I hadn't expected one to be here. And to ask for one would be pushing it, so I just read over the agreement making sure I understood everything and that it was all as it should be before signing. 

I never thought I'd actually understand with such intimacy what it meant to sign your life away. 

When I was finished, he took them from me and I watched as he signed them as well. Then closed the folder and set it aside as if it weren't so important. I opened my mouth to say something but he stopped me with one finger to my lips, that triumphant little smile once more on his lips as he leaned over to peer at me. 

"I'll have a copy sent to you the minute it's all done." He said, smiling. "You can trust me, Daisuke, I promised I would do this and I will not wrong you." Then he leaned forwards the rest of the way replacing his finger with his lips. "It has been done; the vows of link and paper."

I nodded. "Our vows of link and paper." Another kiss, this one much longer then the last. 

*** 

The door opened a few minutes after I had knocked on it. I had been waiting for so long I was afraid that no one was home. That made me more miserable then I already was because I needed so badly for someone to be home, for him to be home. And then the door opened and he stepped out, his hair and clothes slightly mussed and rubbing his right eye as he stifled a yawn. 

"Daisuke…?" Ken asked, he must have been taking a nap though that was strange considering it was five and Ken never took naps at five or at all really. Ken was the type that only slept because it was a necessity, something he tried to do without for as long as possible. Sometimes you'd have to remind him that sleep was important. 

"Ken…" I said softly. He looked at me then, I mean really looked at me, and he became a little more serious, stepping out of the way to let me in. 

I felt his hand touch the small of my back as soon as the door was shut and locked. He gently led to me the couch in the living room. His parents weren't home, I noticed, since he always takes me to his room when there was more then one person at home. 

"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked and I nodded my head. He knew what it was, so he didn't need to ask. I think he kept the damn thing in stock just for me. When he stepped into the kitchen I removed my collar and placed it on the table. I just stared at it as I rubbed my neck gently. It felt so strange when I took it off…it was a feeling of loss and gain. And the word illusion always seemed to float into my mind while I touched the now free skin of my skin. 

"Here." He handed me the can of cherry coke, already open with a bendy straw in place. I smiled, Ken knew me to well. 

"Thanks." I sipped the soda and he sat down next to me, not saying a word. He would wait until I was ready. 

On the way here I had thought of so many things. So many things I had to get off my chest and how horrible it made me feel that I only used Ken as an outlet. How he had been my best friend for so long and all I did was use him. I only saw him when I needed something and how he never complained. That hurt me so much but that's why I had tried to get away from him in the first place. It was his fault it. The minute I had thought that I felt like kicking myself for using such a horrible excuse. I had become such a bad friend, but could one really be surprised? Look how I had treated Taichi, my sempai. I had hurt him so terribly even if he probably thought otherwise, it was my fault not his. 

I was using people just like Kyo used me and it made me feel awful. But my pain tripled when I thought about what I had done. I closed my eyes and I could see it happen over and over again. I had signed away my freedom…a freedom I never had to begin with.

The train ride to Tamachi had been the worse one I had in years. My mind tormented me and I thought of so many things. So many faults and problems and bad decisions and things I had no choice over. It all came together, it all seemed to blur until I wasn't sure when one started and one ended. I felt like screaming, like banging my head against the wall and screaming until I lost consciousness and never had to think of anything again. Names and events swirled leaving me feeling dizzy so dizzy I had almost missed my stop. I was surprised that I had made it to Ken's place considering just how gone I was. 

But despite all the problems, despite it being the real reason I had come here. I didn't talk about my ongoings with Kyo. 

"I hurt him so badly Ken." I said softly and Ken looked at me. He was puzzled, he was expecting me to tell him something about Kyo so hearing me say something like that was greatly confusing for him. "Taichi…but I didn't know what else to do…" 

"Taichi-san?" How long had it been since I uttered that name to him. There was once at time that all I spoke about was Yagami Taichi but that was before and that was another me. That person wasn't the same Motomiya Daisuke that was sitting next to Ken sipping a can of cherry soda. That Daisuke had a future…

"He came to visit for break I guess." I said softly. "I was surprised to see him. He was there at the Crystal Club some nights ago and he saw me and Kyo. We were…and he watched for a while. Then he just kind ran off, he looked kind of cute now that I think about. He was embarrassed, I think, seeing me like that with someone. 

"But that wasn't the last time I saw him. He kept coming back and seeing me and I think he must have talked to someone because he kept asking me why I had dropped out, like if he hadn't known before, I guess he hadn't. He wanted to know why and I can't tell him why. And I couldn't think of anyway to get rid of him, I was starting to feel cornered and scared. He's not like you, Ken, he wouldn't get it like you do and he would do something. Maybe even tell everyone and try to get them to do something. I couldn't let that happen….So I seduced him, telling him that's all he really wanted from me—sex—and he denied but I wouldn't give up and we…and he ran so fast…" 

Ken said nothing as I spoke, he rarely did. He's a good listener and tends to wait until you finish talking before voicing his opinion. I was afraid to look at him though. He had been friends with Taichi, albeit not as good friends as I had once with him been but friends none the less. I had been frightened that maybe this would be my one action that could get him to outwardly disapprove. He had always disapproved but he never said anything, you could just tell but he never said it.

"I can't say I think that was your best course of action, Daisuke." Ken spoke after a long silence. I nodded knowing he was right. "But you've done it already. You have accomplished what you wanted, there's no need to look back." He touched my shoulder. "Unless you really want to." 

I shook my head; I knew what Ken was getting at. I had the urge to glare at him for bring it up but I didn't. It was unimportant. It had nothing to do with the present. But…why did he have to bring it up.

"I can't." I said and I knew he would reply with a why not so I just answered before he could. "I signed the papers. I have given my self to Kyo forever." 

I felt a hollow pain in my chest when I said that. Saying that out loud gave it a finality that couldn't even be achieved with the signed papers. And any part of me that was left over from the passed must have died at that moment because I could only feel the hollowness become larger and larger—slowly consuming me. 

"So you're family is now free of that burden?" I nodded. "And you've taken it all on yourself." I nodded again, my hands trembling slightly. I felt Ken take hold of the can and heard as he placed it on the coffee table. I leaned back into the couch, my hands covering my face as I sighed loudly. "Oh Daisuke…" 

I turned my head and looked at him. "Please Ken don't tell how stupid this move was." I pleaded with him. "I had to…I wasn't given a choice." 

"There's always a choice." He reached out and took one of my hands gently in his own. I pulled away angrily. 

"What choice is that!" I screamed, frustrated. "Run away? Forget my family? Like Jun!" He didn't say anything, but lowered his head and I felt bad for yelling. "I can't do that, Ken. I can't be that selfish." 

"I know." He whispered. "It's an admirable trait. But Daisuke, you can't always be so selfless. It's hurting you so badly" 

I turned my head and looked at him. Reaching over to stroke his cheek gently. His blue eyes staring back at me with such sadness as he held my hand against his cheek. 

"There's no way to change it now though." Ken continued after a soft dejected sigh. "What's done is done. You taught me that years ago, no looking back." I nodded a bit, a small smile curving my lips at the thought of those more pleasant years but that smile was still nothing like it once had been. This smile could never be joyous. "All that can be done now is to continue moving forward." 

I nodded my head. He was right, I've known this all along. But even though he said those words I could tell he didn't mean it. Ken didn't like the outcome and Ken has always been the type to change things he didn't like. He never was one to lay down like a beaten dog and take it. I was like that once too, no longer am I. That determination and defiance was lost years ago. I lost it the day Jun left. 

"I wondered what 'neechan is doing." I said softly, something I asked this when I was feeling my worst. I wondered if she was happy now and a part of me always wished she was. I hated it when she was upset, even though we had fought so much we were pretty close siblings. We got along because we fought, we always aired out things between us rather quickly instead of letting it fester inside us. And most of the time when we would fight it would be about stupid shit that siblings always fight about, nothing serious. So even though she hurt us greatly with her betrayal I always hoped that it was worth it. That she was now happy. 

Ken never answered that question, I think he was afraid of the answers reaction. Ken didn't like 'neechan much, not that I really blame him for it. But he didn't understand what she felt. I knew, I knew since I was experiencing it now. 'Neechan had to deal with this much longer then I had. She had been Kyo's before she had ran. Sometimes I think that the first thing she was ever taught was who her master (she always called him that, her voice was always full of disgust) was. 

"She had a reason for leaving." I defended her even if Ken said nothing. "He did something because 'neechan wasn't planning on leaving." 

Ken nodded, still not saying something. I wondered idly what he was thinking. I could tell he wasn't just listening but planning. It bothered me greatly and I felt the need to stop him. If he started anything that it would be over. He knew that, I told him so but sometimes Ken and I were a little too similar. 

"Ken, what's done is done right?" He looked at me and tilted his head, then nodded. 

"Yes, the passed can't be changed and we must live with what we've done." I couldn't help but think of what I had done to Taichi when he said that. I felt a pang of guilt but it was slowly swallowed by the hollowness that had taken residence in my chest. "All we have to do is watch all the pieces come together and see how the future looks."

I nodded, yawning a bit. I was so tired and Ken's words seemed to reassure me. Maybe that was because I had been so tired. I leaned against him, like I had done many times during the years of our friendship. My eyes looked over at the choker sitting on the table and I curled up closer to Ken. His hand moved up to gently close my eyes and then to stroke my hair in the most comforting of manners until I felt myself slowly falling asleep. 

"All we have to do is watch all the pieces come together and see how the future looks." I heard Ken say, he sounded far away at this point. I was almost asleep and I don't think I could have come out of this state if wanted. Everything sound so far away and unreal. "But my Daisuke, all the pieces haven't come together yet…" 

Sleep over took me then, before I could even really register those words. So they just kind of floated around in my subconscious. 

TBC

Okay that's it. Finally! All rejoice! I'm so happy! I really do feel terrible for making you all wait (all of you that are still reading this that is). This story has become much more complicated then I had originally wanted it to be. I know how I want it to go but I have to do it in a certain way that's very tricky to make sure it doesn't seem like a cop out. ^^; I just hope I achieve it. 

Again I want to apologize for the long wait. I really want to finish this story as much as you guys want it done. But I refused to do half-assed rushed crap. This fic is already crap without all that extra stuff. As always I will try and get this fic out as quickly as I can, but I make no promises on when exactly it will come out. I honestly don't think this story is worth the wait…

And I apologize for all the mistakes in this, wanted to get it out as fast as I could. You've all waited long enough.

Anyway Happy New Years to all. 


End file.
